6 Traits Common to Adults Who Grew Up Lacking Affection

Attachment as a source of anxiety: a complex emotion to tame.
Experiencing affection can seem as confusing as understanding a melody never heard before. People who experienced emotional deprivation during childhood often perceive tenderness as a danger rather than a comfort. They question the authenticity of expressions of affection, anticipating betrayal or rejection.

This apprehension frequently leads to two contradictory attitudes: either a frantic quest for emotional closeness, or a systematic withdrawal from intimacy. A poignant dilemma: yearning for connection while simultaneously denying oneself access to it.

Communicating one’s expectations: a perilous exercise

Many have learned to bury their feelings deep inside, like hiding precious objects for fear of losing them. As a result, they struggle to verbalize their emotions or aspirations. Their survival mechanism: to please others first, absorb surrounding tensions, and acquiesce against their will.

Putting up barriers? Unthinkable. They’ve been taught that their needs are superfluous, sometimes even inappropriate. So they withdraw from conversations, downplay their perceptions, sometimes even losing touch with their true desires.

The perpetual quest for a missing validationz

Parental love is not simply about providing for material needs. It primarily involves attentive presence, active listening, and constant praise. Adults deprived of these expressions of affection often seek compensation in various areas: professional success, the approval of others, and unbalanced relationships.

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